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Our room with a view. |
I seem to have become the 'silent rector's wife' and have lost my writing voice for the moment. I think the Rector@6 and I are experiencing such a roller coaster journey at the moment, that I need time to reflect before I record my thoughts. One moment our life is full of sunrises and excitement for new opportunities and the next, we seem to have a run of sunsets as things close down and opportunities do not fulfil their promise. Everyone must experience this when they move to an unknown area and each day, the Rector@6 and I venture out in different directions to glean more knowledge about our area. I do find it a lonely process at times - while the Rector@6 has the opposite experience of having to meet so many new people at so many different occasions. I am wary of jumping into things with both feet and, already, I am glad that I have been wary but soon I must take the plunge and make some firm commitments. But everything is so new - every person, place or journey is new. And that is stressful.

I am missing the sense of 'awe and wonder' that I experienced on Dartmoor and, before that, living next to the sea. I have yet to find that place where I feel refreshed and can marvel at the greatness of God. It is when I stand looking out to a huge grey sea that no man can master - or look at the huge boulders stacked on top of one another, forming a precipitously balanced Tor in the bleak open moorland, that I feel a sense of God and a sense of how minute my problems really are.

There are these places here, I'm sure, and we will find them - when we have the time to explore. For now, I must continue to live in the present and take pleasure from things that are much closer to home such as the glorious primroses that are scattered in their hundreds all over our back garden. Even on the grey days, they seem to smile. And the view of the village church silhouetted by wonderful sunsets that we can see from our sitting room. And, of course, there is Tess - the eternal optimist - to keep us on the right tracks!