How to do Holy Week?

Today is Good Friday and there are three different events in our benefice - Easter Garden making with children's activities, an Hour at the Cross and A quiet service of words and music. The Rector@6 has not been involved in organising these - space has been there for groups or individuals to lead the events. Holy Week has evolved this year like that. The Rector@6 has gently nudged and there have been two excellent musical events led by members of the benefice. We began the week with a 'desert island discs' type evening led by two of our musicians who discussed the music that had been influencial in their lives. We had an afternoon concert of meditation and reflection which was beautifully put together and performed by a group of friends. It was strange to have come to church in the middle of a working week and sit and reflect, while listening to awe inspiring music. What a rare opporunity! And we have today's events. There has been a small audience each time - and that's where the work needs to be put in - get the information out to the villages!

The other difficulty is getting people to move on and come up with new ideas. Changing things is not popular in rural parishes. Recently the Rector@6 had problems with a parishioner who wanted the church to be the same as when they were growing up and thus suitable for the family funeral! There are builders working in that particular church - putting in a mezzanine floor for the bell ringers and a new kitchen underneath - all the money raised in advance of work starting! That's progress ....and it is not wanted by some.

Returning to Good Friday  - Jesus' death on a cross is a challenging, unpleasant event to have to talk about. But we know what comes next and we should be inspired to spread the good news. People are becoming unfamiliar with the Christian message and need to be reinspired to listen again. If we keep putting on the same events and telling the story in the same way - people will choose not to listen. We are consumer society - even in these rural parts.

Horses at the rectory

Silence from the rector's wife (once the Curate's wife) - now there is a rarity! The weeks are flying by in a blur; writing is taken up with the weekly church newssheet that I edit and minute writing when needed. Blogging can no longer be used to vent my opinions or emotions because there are lurkers out there! Some parishioners admit to reading this blog – good for you – I’m pleased you have found it ...and others read and say nothing. How do I know this?-  Because people let slip in conversation (without realising it) things that I have written about. If asked, I am always happy to talk about blogging but I do not advertise the fact that I blog.

Another reason for the silence is that words have failed me on so many occasions when I see what people expect from their Rector. It seems that with six churches, life is like a six horse carousel; - each church being represented by a horse that is either going up or down, as it circles around the Rector@6. He finds himself riding upwards as churches begin to reach outwards and think about mission and, when there are debts to be paid, arguments to be resolved and hurts to be mended, he rides downwards.  Perhaps, after a certain number of years in ministry, you stop riding these waves.

The other problem that is more unexpected, is that if the Rector@6 tries to make the church more accessible to people who do not come to church regularly, he finds that they have very little understanding and want everything on their agenda – particular dates and times (usually having invited the guests or booked the hall for the reception before speaking to the rector). Heaven forbid having to have the baptism on a Sunday and in a church service! Old friends or family vicars are pulled out of retirement and are recruited before speaking to the actual incumbent. It’s one thing making yourself accessible and another – being walked all over!

I have thought seriously about ending this blog and just keeping diaries to reflect on events at a later date. So often there are things I cannot write about – but I am shocked by some of the behaviour I have seen since being a ‘wife of ’. Yet Vicars are some of the most content people in their work. I can see why – because when things fit together and people work together – the world is a better place!

 Despite all the debris, life is beginning to make sense – and maybe the words will begin to flow more easily in time.

Awesome Lent reading

I try to read a Christian book during Lent in order to focus my thinking and prayers because I sometimes think I want to be a better 'conventional' Christian! It would make my life as a Rector's wife so much easier if I could just accept some things without wanting to question all the time, if I could spout Christian doctrine like I really meant it, that I knew my bible better and could quote the relevant verse to support my opinions. However, I know that I am not like that and, perhaps, I never will be - I need to test my understanding and voice my doubts in order to work them through.

This Lent I have read ‘Ten – Why Christianity makes sense’ by John Pritchard and it was a thought- provoking, compelling read – so much so, that I have finished long before Easter.  The chapters are written with ten points - and the chapters do not need to be read in the order they appear (although some obviously follow on). I loved this style as I found I could pick it up at any time and read short sections. The subject matter ranges from ‘Ten things I believe about God’ and ‘Ten things I don’t believe about God’ to ‘Ten ways to enliven your faith’ and ‘Ten values for tomorrow’s Church’. It is relevant and up to date in its thinking. It is realistic about where a person or a church might be. There are practical suggestions for enlivening your faith. I went to the early Book of Common Prayer service this morning with a newfound sense of expectancy, rather than dreading a cold church and resenting the early start.  As John Pritchard says;-

‘ It’s an attitude of the heart, triggered through the mind. I often realize (eventually, when my dull brain has woken up) that when God has gone quiet it’s because I’ve ceased to expect much of him.’

Since the Rector@ 6 has been in this benefice, he has run several courses that have been very well attended. His aim was to get us all to be able to talk about our faith – to each other and so we are able to explain it to those who have no experience of the church. Another member of the ministry team is running the present Lent course and we started with thirty people in attendance - so something is happening here! It’s not a case of “not another Alpha course”! These are opportunities to think about our church, our faith and grow together. Just last week, someone said, “I think about it a lot, but I can’t talk about my faith – I haven’t got the words.” Christians need to be able to talk about their faith as John Pritchard says;-

“It’s been said that the average British churchgoer is as well prepared to meet an aggressive atheist as a boy with a peashooter is to meet a tank.”

Hopefully, our benefice is trying to address this.

There is so much I would like to write about – so just go and read it for yourself. I wonder if you will find it as inspiring as I do. 

“...there are other metaphors that, for me, come much closer to describing the God who whispers in my inner and outer life: God as the Mysterious Laughter I hear in creation; God as the Gentle Persuader who touches me lightly on the shoulder; God as the Aching Beauty who speaks through nature and the arts; God as the Shimmering Presence always just beyond my reach but giving depth to common things.”

One year anniversary.

It's official - the Rector@6 has been in post one whole year! On March 7th last year - the rectory was full of family who were with us for the collation, induction and installation of my husband to this benefice. I remember the night well, as the Rector@6 had gone ahead and I had to drive my car, full of family, to the church. It was such a foggy night and I couldn't see more than a few metres in front of me as I crawled along the unfamiliar country road. Now I know every bend, narrow spot and pothole on that journey - having had to race back to the rectory, on more than one occasion, when the Rector@6 has found that he has forgotten his sermon or keys!
We marked the anniversay by escaping from the benefice and going to find the sea. It was warm enough to sit outside and have fish and chips, overlooking the empty beach. What contrasting weather to the last few weeks and what a contrast to the rural benefice. Now that our Devon house is let, we will have time to get out and explore the contrasting landscapes of Dorset and we are really looking forward to that.
Here is just a taster of what we have to explore....

 

 

Paths blocked while trying to move forward

The countryside here in Dorset is still recovering from the massive storms that we experienced a couple of weeks ago. Much of my dog walking is in woodlands and many of the paths are still blocked by ancient trees that have been uprooted. It makes me think about life in our churches - as we try to move forward, there always seems to be some barrier in the way. It takes creative thinking to find a way around the blockages - and that takes up a lot of time! There have been many sleepless nights in the Rectory as, in turn, one of the benefice churches throws up a problem. We never thought it was going to be easy but life is, perhaps, harder than we anticipated it was going to be. We are both tired and in need of a break in order to gain some perspective and to stop us looking over the fence to see if the grass is greener!


This path was lined with magnificent beech trees but they have sadly suffered in the storms.

 

In other woods, the chalky subsoil is exposed when the trees fall onto one another, causing a cascading effect through the woods. It reminds us of the need to have firm foundations.

It's behind us!

It’s all over! The Rector@6 and I have survived five performances of 

the pantomime – the last three were completely sold out. I miss it already: I miss the opportunity to laugh, I miss the camaraderie, I miss the silly, slapstick humour and I miss the lively community singing – all so different from church. I don’t miss the awful costumes (why am I wearing a shower cap?), or trying to remember my very few lines or the nerves before each performance. I don’t suppose the Rector@6 will miss the custard (foam) pies or the song and dance routines. It has been a great experience to meet regularly with a group of people who stretched in age from eight years to much older! Each performance ended with supper and a warm invitation to the audience, to join the drama group for future productions.  This is where we began in the parish exactly a year ago. At the end of our first week in the Rectory  we decided to go to see the pantomime that was advertised – our first venture out into the village. Nobody knew who we were and we didn’t recognise anyone but we really enjoyed the show and had a very much needed laugh. We never imagined that we would be taking part in the pantomime a year later!

We will be glad to see the back of January and February. They have been a madly busy pair of months – with the confirmation service, the pantomime and emptying our Devon cottage so that our tenants can move in this week. And then the rain keeps coming and the flooding keeps returning – allowing no respite for those who have been already flooded. The water drains out of the houses and then it rains and the water returns. We are safe but across the road, the drains have not coped and the thatched cottages have flooded. The septic tanks overflow into the road. The river (that has been dry all summer) has not been able to cope with the volume of water and has flowed over its banks and through houses and gardens. On Saturday morning, yet another cottage was flooded when a tree blew down in the overnight storms. The tree fell across the stream and diverted the water through the nearest cottage. It wasn’t until morning that villagers were able to help clearing the water. The Rector@6 joined a group of men to move the tree from the stream. This involved chainsaws, ropes and two tractors – which would have been very exciting- if it hadn’t been for the chaos the water had caused in the cottage.

The same storm affected the phone line to the Rectory – so no internet, emails or telephone calls. What a difference it makes to rectory life. The Rector@6 isn’t creeping off to listen to answer machine messages (we try to ignore calls that come in at meals times). He doesn’t have to check his emails every hour to stay on top of them - because there are none. He can’t carry out research on the internet, so books have to come out and we can sit in the same room – but it does mean he can’t indulge in looking at narrow boats on the internet and dreaming! It is beginning to get a little frustrating when people’s contact details are all stored on computers. I can’t get the local news sheet finished or catch up with this blog. We don’t know how long it will take to restore the line. It must be frustrating for people who, unaware of our predicament, leave messages on the answer phone which we can’t listen to. Today we are visiting a friend who is still connected to the outside world so that we can catch up with some of our tasks.

We are becoming fully integrated into village life and letting our Devon cottage is an important step to settling here. I can feel we are moving onto the next stage and it is all about choosing the right attitude. I still find church life quite difficult – but it’s all about my attitude. Life is incredibly busy – which is good - but the Rector@6 and I must learn to play a bit more. I have had great opportunities to help with horses and consequently, I have had more riding than I have ever had before. It’s not Dartmoor - but it is pretty good. I was able to drag the Rector@6 away from his work on his birthday and took him riding on some magnificent horses – what an amazing experience! A year ago I would never have guessed that I would be helping with horses on such a regular basis. I really do believe that Someone is looking after me.

Where did January Go?!

 Nearly three weeks have passed since I last blogged - I don't really know where January went, other than The Rector@6 and I are slowly surfacing from Pantomime rehearsals, a Benefice Confirmation service for 14 candidates, emptying our house in Devon and waving our eldest son off  - to live in Dubai again. We are also thrilled that our youngest son is marrying his fiancee this summer - so they are busy with wedding plans. How did I ever go to work?! The day to day parish business consumes us at times - so I have joined the Rector@6 by becoming a member of the Local Advisory Board for our local school. This is

as well as being the Benefice secretary. At least we will have nights out together!!!.

The weather has been atrocious, with winds and flooding blocking the roads. It could have been snow - and could still be, I suppose. We just need to get our tenants into our Devon house. I am hating the whole process of letting go and there have been many tears as I have packed up the house. I am still struggling with the Rectory and not being able to create a home that functions as a home for us. I don't know who designed our kitchen layout - but they never thought about how it would be used! A few of our earlier niggles have been dealt with - enough to shut us up for a while, I expect they hope. But our newly decorated ceiling now is stained with a water leak, which has been fixed but we have to redecorate again. We just do not have the time at the moment. It is certainly not home yet - as we are back to square one with a hall full of boxes and a garage full of furniture from our Devon home. We will get it sorted out ...but I just don't know when!

We had a fantastic Confirmation service with fourteen candidates - seven young people and seven adults. It was such a special occasion as there had not been a confirmation service for many years in the Benefice. The challenge is now to ensure those folk really feel that they have a role play in our churches and community. More ideas and projects are in the melting pot - so there goes the spare time that I thought I could see on the horizon.

There are still nigglers who want the Rector to visit them 'like the old one did' but they don't come to church and see him, or ring or send a message to say who they are - or where they are. I feel the Rector's shoulders are broadening and he is able to point out that he isn't able to walk the streets of six parishes and just drop in for cups of tea - much as he would like to! Of course, when they see that he is in the Pantomime, I'm sure that they will feel that he does have time. If they only knew how hard it has been to fit in the rehearsals with all the other stuff that he does. First performance is next Friday - complete with custard pies and traditional cast. Being involved with the pantomime has been a wonderful contrast to our day to day life - with very many laughs - only now the nerves have set in and we are wondering if we will remember our lines (we have very few). The Rector@6 says it is worse than delivering a sermon from the pulpit!