Friday, 11 April 2014
Horses at the rectory
Silence from the rector's wife (once the Curate's wife) - now there is a rarity! The weeks are flying by in a blur; writing is taken up with the weekly church newssheet that I edit and minute writing when needed. Blogging can no longer be used to vent my opinions or emotions because there are lurkers out there! Some parishioners admit to reading this blog – good for you – I’m pleased you have found it ...and others read and say nothing. How do I know this?- Because people let slip in conversation (without realising it) things that I have written about. If asked, I am always happy to talk about blogging but I do not advertise the fact that I blog.
Another reason for the silence is that words have failed me on so many occasions when I see what people expect from their Rector. It seems that with six churches, life is like a six horse carousel; - each church being represented by a horse that is either going up or down, as it circles around the Rector@6. He finds himself riding upwards as churches begin to reach outwards and think about mission and, when there are debts to be paid, arguments to be resolved and hurts to be mended, he rides downwards. Perhaps, after a certain number of years in ministry, you stop riding these waves.
The other problem that is more unexpected, is that if the Rector@6 tries to make the church more accessible to people who do not come to church regularly, he finds that they have very little understanding and want everything on their agenda – particular dates and times (usually having invited the guests or booked the hall for the reception before speaking to the rector). Heaven forbid having to have the baptism on a Sunday and in a church service! Old friends or family vicars are pulled out of retirement and are recruited before speaking to the actual incumbent. It’s one thing making yourself accessible and another – being walked all over!
I have thought seriously about ending this blog and just keeping diaries to reflect on events at a later date. So often there are things I cannot write about – but I am shocked by some of the behaviour I have seen since being a ‘wife of ’. Yet Vicars are some of the most content people in their work. I can see why – because when things fit together and people work together – the world is a better place!
Despite all the debris, life is beginning to make sense – and maybe the words will begin to flow more easily in time.