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| The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders; where morning dawns, where evening fades, you call forth songs of joy.
Psalm 65:8 New International Version |
It is very strange to go to a different church now. We parked up outside and watched the people go in - teenagers (with their parents!) and old and young alike, went through the glass doors into a modern, brightly lit foyer. Nothing like our churches we said to each other. We decided to venture in and we found that we were ignored by the crowd gathered round the tea and coffee counter. We made it into the main church unaccosted. There we were surprised to find that it was a traditional church that had had a face lift. It was warm, carpeted and had chairs and not pews. Yet the structure was a traditional church. As we took it all in, the welcome commitee realised we had broken through and we were welcomed and given a leaflet which included a sermon outline - 'transformed to be sure'.
The whole evening was centred on assurance. Were we struggling with it? ..well I was. Did I have an inconsistent Christian life? - oh yes! Was I failing to appreciate the indwelling of the Spirit?... Actually it felt more like a kick up the **** for me. It was the wake up call I needed to carry on for a bit longer.
Thank you for sharing this. It is so important to be real about doubts and misgivings. I find myself in this situation at times, and need a wake up call as you put it. It must be even more difficult as a vicar's wife. I guess doubts and reservations and questions help strengthen faith in the end. I do appreciate hearing of your joys and your struggles. God bless you and the vicar.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comments - doubts do strengthen faith. Happy Christmas
DeleteI have come back to your posting several times with no reply to offer. Last night as I listened to the radio I heard a discussion from ministers of religion of many denominations ... several spoke of the loneliness in their profession, the lack of understanding by others, and sadly how many felt that the congregation failed to understand their minister was a person. A person in their own right. One commented he used to jog [walks now ... that three letter word ... a g e] with a person he considers a close friend, who he thinks is agnostic, but a real friend in that they can talk/discuss all topics. I wish for you a similar friend. Bless you and your DH:)
ReplyDeleteHello and Merry Christmas - Are you bathing in sunshine? I still wonder who I can really discus my faith with - without being judged. Time will Tell
DeleteI have known two pastor's wives who did not even attend the church services where their husbands pastored. People talked about it but the wives were seemingly oblivious. One went to a church that was not her husband's current church, rather she continued going to his former one which was a huge church by comparison. The other didn't go to her husband's services but she did take part in some of the church activities. I started attending a new church these last couple months. My husband is a non-churchgoer. So I go alone. I'm not feeling very connected at the new church yet despite joining in on activities. I'm struck with how constrained we are (or I am, anyway) in church. Yet I believe we are supposed to make ourselves completely known to God and find ways to serve. All grist for the mill. Blessings to you and your husband. Andrea in Minnesota
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas to you and your family. I don’t know exactly what to say and I would not understand the challenge you are facing. I could only send my best regards to you and promise to keep you in my prayers. I too struggle with assurance in my own life and constantly search for some sort of strength to carry on. Here is to a brighter and warmer “Up the Rectory Path” in 2014. With best regards.
ReplyDeleteThank you for keeping me in your prayers - I pray for recognising my contentment! Merry Christmas.
DeleteI've only just got around to reading this as Christmas sped by in a blur. One of the worst things about being a clergy wife is that everyone else gets to see your husband before you, you come low on the priority list. When I complain he says but I work from home. He does but on the phone to others, in front of a computer answering e.mails from others or out visiting parishioners. On Sunday I feel like an extra, we get to chat between services in the car but he's usually thinking about the next sermon.
ReplyDeleteOver the past 3 years I have made my own group of friends but they cannot replace is attention. I sit through services and find it hard to take the man seriously because I know what he's like at home. I spend the times of prayer saying sorry about the way I feel. It's a difficult role, and I was warned about the same things by the wife of a Minister who had followed her husband in the job for over 30 years. I don't think that there is a solution, it's the way a majority of us feel and a sacrifice we make, but it doesn't come easily. You are in my thoughts and
prayers! Just keep a sense of humour :) God knows how we feel!