It's Time!

I'm staring at the blank screen wondering what to write...is it too soon to return to my ramblings about adapting to life in the rectory? I have missed the comradery of Bloggers but I needed to focus on settling. I have woken this morning with the urge to write again - so much is changed, so much is changing. The Church of England seems to be changing. Our valley churches are changing. I am changing. Does this mean I am shaping up into a Rector's wife? I don't think so - I still feel like a square peg in a round hole but I need to write to remind myself of how far the Rector@6 and I have come since arriving in the valley for The Interview three years ago. I need to record the changes that have happened so that it might give myself (and others) hope. There have been some difficult times and the Rector@6 has even applied for a couple of jobs and he has got as far as being interviewed for one. We both knew it was too soon (was it the thought of escaping ....running away?). We both knew it was not right for us (the Rector@6 had even said that he would not accept the job at the interview - if offered - which it wasn't!). I'd like to say that we don't wake up on a Friday morning and turn on our iPad search the vacancy list in the Church Times ....but that wouldn't be true. This weekly scanning of the vacancy pages helps to remind us how fortunate we really are!

Spiralling around life.

It's interview time for the Rector@6 - time to answer to the big boss. After six months, new incumbants get an entry interview with the bishop to discuss how things are going. A little while ago, one very good friend asked me how it really was for me and I declined to answer then, but now, I think I can. Things are slotting into place - I don't feel settled but I don't feel unsettled - so I suppose that is good. I miss Devon hugely but I am getting to know the area around us a bit more. Because we have been running back to Devon when we do have some time off, this has prevented us exploring our new surroundings as quickly as we might have done. I have been unready to rent out our Devon home and we have needed somewhere to escape from the telephone. So we have kept our house and done some very necessary repair works on it - and God has done some necessary repair work on me! We have been approached by a family who may be interested in renting the house after Christmas - and I know that it will be the right time to let it go.
Following the format of the Rector's interview, I will put my side:-
My Wellbeing.
The house is an on-going annoyance - there is still work to be done on it, some as a result of the quinquennial inspection, some because things were not kept in good order or finished properly. It has made it difficult to really settle and hopes of changes to the bathroom or kitchen are completely dashed so I will continue to sport burns on my hand from our badly sited oven. I have to accept the 'that will do' attitude but it doesn't endear me to stay here - we have owned our own home for too many years to accept this.
I haven't looked for a new job as yet - but I have ventured out into the world of horses and I am learning all the time. Almost exactly a year since giving up teaching, I am back in the local school as a volunteer. I shall see how that goes.
I'm tired and I miss weekends and two clear days to play - we miss days off quite regularly and because I have commitments, the Rector@6 can't just change the day off at late notice because something comes up, and expect to spend it with me. We haven't got this right yet
We like the parishes and the parishioners (which is fortunate) and we are getting involved in various local activities - including the pantomime.
My New Post - Rector's Wife
It wasn't included in the Rector's job description and I didn't intend being a full on rector's wife but it is hard to avoid. There is just so much to do and so I am now acting as the Benefice secretary to try and help the Rector@6 get to grips with the parishes.
How do I feel about this ministry after 6 months - well I certainly wasn't born to it!
My Induction
I have hardly met another vicar's wife. I don't think there is anything for spouses - or at least I haven't heard about it yet. Dorset is very good at keeping secrets. Perhaps I'm not looking in the right places. It would be good to meet others who know what it is really like behind the rectory/vicarage door.
My development
I 'get' the rural living but not the 'eating, sleeping and talking' church all the time. I remember life before this

and I miss it. I miss laughing - thank goodness for the pantomime group, my dogs and a good bottle of wine (this is not cause for concern...yet!).
I have found I can organise craft workshops. I would like to sing and play more music but I am worried about standing on people's toes. I'm learning that I am seen as being useful for feeding information to the vicar (in a roundabout way) - so I try not to get too involved.
I'm also learning that:-
I can't really have an opinion.
I can't get too involved with only one church.
It's not a good idea to have bright ideas!

I feel my life is spiralling around - revisiting uncomfortable places with a more open mind, returning to the world of education and learning new skills in old hobbies. I have started building a spiral pathway in our garden to mark this stage (and to remove some of the moss ladened turf). I find I can escape the world when I throw myself into a new garden project (- I will keep you updated on the progress) - and I do need to escape at times.

Why would anyone want to be a vicar....or a vicar's wife?

The honeymoon is over and the clouds are rolling in. We knew it had to come to an end but the reality of the life we find ourselves in, is hard to take. We ended our summer holiday with four days next to the beach with no television, internet or telephone. We thought we were energized, refreshed and ready to go, but the coal face is a lot harder than we anticipated. I have been alongside The Rector@6 through 3 very, very long days and the contrast with the peace and silence we had experienced last week was vivid. So many voices, so many personal agendas, so much talking and being talked at. I hope that this really isn't the Kingdom of God because right now, I don't want to be part of it. I feel bruised and exhausted and I can't imagine how The Rector@6 feels. Right at this moment I want to go home......I will write more when things are more in perspective and I am less tired. I write so that I can reread this at a later date and know that things did get better.

The problem of being the vicar's wife is that you feel no one comes as a genuine friend, they all eventually want to tell you where the church has gone wrong or how it could be better if it was done this way or that way. I suspect this is in the hope that I will pass it on. I am tired of talking about church.

Six monthly audit and lots of faith, hope and love.

I can't believe we have been here for six months! Our life was upturned and redirected in February, when we moved to this small rural village and my husband began his first incumbancy as the rector of six rural churches. I can't believe how different one English county can be from another. Here we are surrounded by thatched cottages and vast fields of crops. Despite living in the countryside before, never has the onset of harvest been so obvious to me. We are surrounded by acres of wheat and barley that stretch as far as the eyes can see. Now, after a short, intense sunny spell, the tractors seem to be working continuously to bring the crops in. The thundering tractors race through the village from dawn until midnight (- when they are actually obliged to stop). As you look over towards the farms, it looks like there is a dust storm rising out of the fields - centred on a huge harvester monster that continuously crawls up and down the field. And so the crops will be brought in and the circle of ploughing and planting will start again.

The Rector has now had six months to listen and watch the six churches in action. When he came here, he promised to make no changes and to get to know the people and parishes in his first six months. This has required patience from those folk who wanted things to change or move on, or were worried that the new rector was going to shake up the familiar. It has been a great time for us as we have tried to attend most village events and the Rector@6 has tried to attend most parish meetings. It has also been a very busy and tiring time!


Often in August, being the school holidays, many church groups take a break so the Rector@6 decided that this was a good time to run a short course to get to know people on a different level. He advertised the York course 'Faith, Hope and Love' - to run in the Rectory garden with a bring and share supper. It has been a great opportunity to listen to people and where they are in their churchmanship, their faith journey and their relationship with the parish church. The Rector@6 would thoroughly recommend this course to other ministers starting out somewhere new. It has proved to be very popular - so much so -  that we have had to run it in two sessions, either with lunch or supper. It has made for a very busy August hence the lack of blogging on my part!

I am settling down into a routine of helping with and riding the big horses over in the next village. This is my escape from parish life, as they are outside the Rector@6's parishes. And I need it! We seem to eat, sleep and talk church in the Rectory. This settling-in period seems such an intense time but then that is the same with any new job - but I am not employed in this job - I just live in it!
 

Blogging silence due to overload

A brief moment of relaxation - the weather is glorious - so there must be time to swim!

The gaps get longer and longer between posting a blog due to the work load of this rector's wife (who doesn't do scones, Sunday school, flowers, rotas or clean brasses). Over the last few weeks, these have been a few of my 'duties':-

1. Make door curtains into 18th Century dress for myself

2. Research then find pattern for 18th Century Rector's costume and make.

3. Find / make suitable headwear for said costumes including wig for rector.

5. Fill in for church secretary at church warden's meeting and take minutes.

6. Write up minutes.

7. Meet with enthusiastic group to share ideas for church display during village fete.

8. Visit scrap store to find materials for previously mentioned project.

9. Poo pick horse fields in midday sun for owners x4

10. Back a young horse for first time and survive.

11. Rescue mauled pigeon and make decision over its future.

12. Attend lunch party, supper party x2 and not look tired.

13. Plan menu for 'come and share' August house groups being held at Rectory x5

14. Redecorate upstairs smallest room (not finished)

15. Remember to celebrate 33rd wedding anniversary

16. Find suitable clothes for supper at the Bishop's (what is suitable?)

17. Attend supper with Bishop and smile.

18. Keep newly planted garden vaguely alive with constant watering.

19. Chase grouse / partridge / pheasants out of the garden before they get vegetables or dogs get them.

20. Arrange / hid clutter so spare room is available for my mother's visit.

21. Visit beach, National Trust houses and sewing shop.

22. Organise my mother to sew on 24 buttons to rector's 18th century costume (now button holes to do)

23. Organise spare room for nephew to stay while on work placement - he won't mind clutter!

24. Pick the vast number of gooseberries - and try to find a home for them (I don't do jam / pickles)

25. Pick remaining white and black currants - the birds have got there first.

26. Write blog ....so here it is!

PS I forgot to mention the fantastic evening spent on the beach with my husband - life is good!