Hope

Pause

Decorations in  the South Aisle were made at crafty coffee mornings.

I have stopped. This a breathing space - a reflective time before the next round of carol and crib services and the Christmas eucharist and worship services that will preoccupy the Rector@6. Blogging has had to be put to one side as I paddled hard to keep afloat.
The frantic run up to Christmas is whirling around me and I need to stop. We have a target time - 12.30 on Christmas Day - so think of us then. Then, The Rector@6 should have finished, the front door will be shut, fire lit, dogs walked (are you reading this my two lovely sons?),Christmas lunch will not be cooked but we can prepare it together - for a late afternoon meal. We will turn inwards for a short time and celebrate as a family.
This first Christmas for The Rector@6, has been a huge learning curve for both of us. The amount of  tasks that have had to be remembered - or followed up on  - or needed reminders, - seems endless. Thank God for our good health.  I have run a star making session in one church which was challenging but enjoyable. We are still struggling to keep our musicians as no one has stepped forward to lead our music group. I am struggling to keep up with producing the pew sheets that go out each week with notices, reading and service times on them - for 6 churches. I make mistakes, which bothers me but I must learn that: - 1) I will improve with practise and 2) I am only human!
What I have realised is that this is probably the hardest Christmas period that we will experience (hopefully). We have had to cope with accepting  "This is the way it is always done"  - which might not be explained to us until a little too late. Despite this, one village is trialling a worship style service with no holy communion at it (this is available half a mile down the road at two churches and all the other churches in the Benefice). People have dropped away from attending the church over the years, many were of other denominations (such as Methodist ) and they had wondered if the Christmas day Celebration could be done differently. The Rector@6 has risen to the challenge and put together a service specifically for this. We will see if they come on Christmas morning.
The contrasts in this benefice are huge. Yesterday I attended Sunday morning worship in the form of  'coffee with carols' with chequered table clothes and informal seating, in our small ancient village church and in the evening I was listening to carols in the Abbey - complete with well rehearsed choir. I sat where the monks had sat hundred of years ago and soared with the music, up to the vaulted ceilings . The Abbey is in our benefice but not part of the benifice - it is a Church of England 'perculiar' (google that - I'm not even going to attempt to explain it!). Suffice to say, next year the carol service should fall into the Rector@6's lap.
I am grateful for this time to pause. The New Year is already lining up fresh challenges but I'm not thinking about these yet. Now is the time to reflect on what Christmas really is all about.

 

Oh, Come, Oh, Come Emmanuel

A gentle reminder.

The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders; where morning dawns, where evening fades, you call forth songs of joy.

Psalm 65:8 New International Version

I'd had enough on Sunday - another cold, empty church left me searching for some sort of faith. Yes - I had lost it and I was wondering why we were here. The rural idyll had lost its charm and I was wanting a 'get out of jail' card. I see very little of the Rector@6 on a Sunday and when he suggested that we spent Sunday evening at another church, my thoughts were very unbecoming for a Rector's wife. He had in mind to travel out of parish, some fifteen miles to a small town. Here, he wanted to become an anonymous worshipper at an evening service, at a church that was attracting some of our parishioners. I, being the dutiful rector's wife (oh yes!), agreed to go with him. I reckoned that I would, at least, get some time to talk with him in the car.

It is very strange to go to a different church now. We parked up outside and watched the people go in - teenagers (with their parents!) and old and young alike, went through the glass doors into a modern, brightly lit foyer. Nothing like our churches we said to each other. We decided to venture in and we found that we were ignored by the crowd gathered round the tea and coffee counter. We made it into the main church unaccosted. There we were surprised to find that it was a traditional church that had had a face lift. It was warm, carpeted and had chairs and not pews. Yet the structure was a traditional church. As we took it all in, the welcome commitee realised we had broken through and we were welcomed and given a  leaflet which included a sermon outline - 'transformed to be sure'.

The whole evening was centred on assurance. Were we struggling with it? ..well I was. Did I have an inconsistent Christian life? - oh yes! Was I failing to appreciate the indwelling of the Spirit?... Actually it felt more like a kick up the **** for me. It was the wake up call I needed to carry on for a bit longer.

The Rector's Christmas Present

The rector's Christmas present always causes me such a headache - but this year I think there is an obvious choice - long johns! I probably shouldn't be discussing the Rector@6's undergarments but I imagine keeping warm is a common problem for rural rectors and vicars. After three services in three churches yesterday, where the heating hardly functioned or wasn't functioning;- the Rector@6 was feeling the cold quite severely. Sometimes it can feel like the church services are being sabotaged because the heating has not been turned on ...but it is usually a genuine mistake or mal function (or so we are led to believe).

The ultimate Vicar's onesie

How can we expect to fill these beautiful churches, if it is a test of endurance to make it to the end of the service without suffering from hyperthermia or frostbite? The cost of keeping the building warm is too much for small churches that are struggling to pay their share. Should we move out and leave the building to the Historic Churches Trust? Should we just shut the doors and leave it to decay? Often there is not another public space in the village. Many of the churches are located in the centre of the village. What a statement to make - if the doors are locked and the building left empty. What a burden for the small congregations to keep them open.

So the Rector@6 struggles on and I will consider purchasing him a set of thermal long johns. Or should I modernise him and follow the fashion trend of a onesie. If you are not sure what a onesie is - it is the adult version of a babygrow - an all in one stretchy suit and they are fashionable amongst the youngsters at the moment. They come in all sorts of designs. Perhaps I could market a 'vicar's onesie'. Throw a surplice over the top and you are ready to go! Do you think they would catch on?

In the Rectory dog house.

Our Tess was a year old last month. She arrived in this world just after we knew that my husband's first incumbency was going to be in Dorset, so she was named Tess - after Thomas Hardy's 'Tess of the D'Urbervilles'. She is the daughter of our collie and has the same loving nature as he has. Living in a rectory affects all members of the family, including the dogs. They have had to cope with long periods of being shut in the kitchen when there are house groups here. It is surprising how many people don't like to share their seat with a large, ungainly collie or a wriggly pup. Those longing gazes that watch every mouthful of biscuit eaten with the coffee, and the inevitable dribble that lands on shoes, just doesn't appeal to some of our visitors.

For other visitors, they provide a wonderful distraction, or comforter through difficult times. As the Rector@6 and I grow into our roles, so do the dogs. Recently they have been learning to sit quietly in church when they come with us to morning prayer in the church. I'm rather proud of how well they are accepting this. Tess does insist that she sits next to me on the pew and Jed lies at my feet. It is surprisingly reassuring to have them there....when they are quiet. Unfortunately they haven't quite got used to the idea of other people joining us and will emit loud resonating barks if the church door opens. This is not good practise!

The canine numbers at the rectory  have doubled recently. We are dog sitting two vicarage dogs from Hampshire, while their owners visit family in Australia. In a moment of generosity, the Rector@6 and I offered to look after the two dogs. We thought that with our nice, large garden and being surrounded by open countryside, we could offer them a home from home. We have made it to the end of week three! I'm not sure who is the fittest - but regular walks must be  taken by both the Rector@6 and myself because neither of us can manage four dogs on our own. This was a little thing that we failed to realise when we made the offer. So come rain or shine (fortunately plenty of the latter) we are tramping over the stubble fields. We have found that these two visitors are not like our collies. They come back on most occasions then suddenly one disappears across the field, or into the hedge, despite our frantic blowing on the dog whistle. For the first week, I expect the village thought there was a man hunt or police emergency because of our frantic tooting on the whistle from across the fields. We had been assured that both dogs came back on two bursts of the whistle - well our Tess does now!

The pheasant shoots have started around us now so we have had to keep clear of all the farms where this happens. We have had to keep clear of all hedges, rivers and woodland. But we have managed to have four dogs who all respond to their name and usually return for a titbit and our Tess thinks she is in seventh heaven!  She will miss them when they return home next week. We will not miss the Labrador instinct to role in anything smelly and then saunter away laughing at us. And I have to admit that one of our visitors (no names here) ...is a thief! So far we have lost: - a pack of butter, a frozen apple cake, a mixed box of left over party cakes, a third of  Tess's stored dried food, bread and the vegetables being put out for compost heap. She can delicately pick the remaining apples from the low branches of the tree and shares them with all the other dogs. At least she is getting plenty of fresh food to supplement her dried diet!
It has been quite an experience - our Jed is not impressed with his harem in his house and I am afraid to say, has cause a couple of 'incidents'. We all still have all our fingers and the dogs have all their ears but two of them keep a wide berth of each other and will take every opportunity to curl a lip across the room at the other. Fortunately, it is only in the house and they can be walked off the lead together, without problems.
If rectory visitors thought we took a long time to get to the door before - we take twice as long now, as each pair of dogs needs to be put in their respective beds, before we open the door. Otherwise our visitors may be sent hurtling backwards down the steps, as four black dogs come flying at them! We haven't had many visitors lately (the continuous barking at times, or the loud shouting, may have deterred a few).

 

Spiralling around life.

It's interview time for the Rector@6 - time to answer to the big boss. After six months, new incumbants get an entry interview with the bishop to discuss how things are going. A little while ago, one very good friend asked me how it really was for me and I declined to answer then, but now, I think I can. Things are slotting into place - I don't feel settled but I don't feel unsettled - so I suppose that is good. I miss Devon hugely but I am getting to know the area around us a bit more. Because we have been running back to Devon when we do have some time off, this has prevented us exploring our new surroundings as quickly as we might have done. I have been unready to rent out our Devon home and we have needed somewhere to escape from the telephone. So we have kept our house and done some very necessary repair works on it - and God has done some necessary repair work on me! We have been approached by a family who may be interested in renting the house after Christmas - and I know that it will be the right time to let it go.
Following the format of the Rector's interview, I will put my side:-
My Wellbeing.
The house is an on-going annoyance - there is still work to be done on it, some as a result of the quinquennial inspection, some because things were not kept in good order or finished properly. It has made it difficult to really settle and hopes of changes to the bathroom or kitchen are completely dashed so I will continue to sport burns on my hand from our badly sited oven. I have to accept the 'that will do' attitude but it doesn't endear me to stay here - we have owned our own home for too many years to accept this.
I haven't looked for a new job as yet - but I have ventured out into the world of horses and I am learning all the time. Almost exactly a year since giving up teaching, I am back in the local school as a volunteer. I shall see how that goes.
I'm tired and I miss weekends and two clear days to play - we miss days off quite regularly and because I have commitments, the Rector@6 can't just change the day off at late notice because something comes up, and expect to spend it with me. We haven't got this right yet
We like the parishes and the parishioners (which is fortunate) and we are getting involved in various local activities - including the pantomime.
My New Post - Rector's Wife
It wasn't included in the Rector's job description and I didn't intend being a full on rector's wife but it is hard to avoid. There is just so much to do and so I am now acting as the Benefice secretary to try and help the Rector@6 get to grips with the parishes.
How do I feel about this ministry after 6 months - well I certainly wasn't born to it!
My Induction
I have hardly met another vicar's wife. I don't think there is anything for spouses - or at least I haven't heard about it yet. Dorset is very good at keeping secrets. Perhaps I'm not looking in the right places. It would be good to meet others who know what it is really like behind the rectory/vicarage door.
My development
I 'get' the rural living but not the 'eating, sleeping and talking' church all the time. I remember life before this

and I miss it. I miss laughing - thank goodness for the pantomime group, my dogs and a good bottle of wine (this is not cause for concern...yet!).
I have found I can organise craft workshops. I would like to sing and play more music but I am worried about standing on people's toes. I'm learning that I am seen as being useful for feeding information to the vicar (in a roundabout way) - so I try not to get too involved.
I'm also learning that:-
I can't really have an opinion.
I can't get too involved with only one church.
It's not a good idea to have bright ideas!

I feel my life is spiralling around - revisiting uncomfortable places with a more open mind, returning to the world of education and learning new skills in old hobbies. I have started building a spiral pathway in our garden to mark this stage (and to remove some of the moss ladened turf). I find I can escape the world when I throw myself into a new garden project (- I will keep you updated on the progress) - and I do need to escape at times.

Remembrance Sunday

        We Shall Keep the Faith

               by Moina Michael, November 1918

              Oh! you who sleep in Flanders Fields,
              Sleep sweet - to rise anew!
              We caught the torch you threw
              And holding high, we keep the Faith
              With All who died.

              We cherish, too, the poppy red
              That grows on fields where valor led;
               It seems to signal to the skies
               That blood of heroes never dies,
               But lends a lustre to the red
              Of the flower that blooms above the dead
              In Flanders Fields.

              And now the Torch and Poppy Red
              We wear in honor of our dead.
              Fear not that ye have died for naught;
              We'll teach the lesson that ye wrought
              In Flanders Fields.